2004-10-09 - 11:25 a.m.
Arriving at the PDX airport I thought about Beatriz Sarlo’s expression “non-places.” She discusses this in her book, “Scenes from Postmodern Life.” She describes how places like airports, shopping malls and highways become “non-places” because they could be “any places.” The airport has not changed in feeling since the first time I flew in here in 1999, or when I moved to Portland for the first time in 2000, or the many times I have returned for a visit (short or long) since I left (by moving truck) in 2001. Maybe my relationship with this town has lasted so long it’s been so unstable- all or nothing- in short spurts.
Grey mornings and intermittent rain is the making for nostalgia. Lying in bed this morning, listening to Morning Edition and petting Josie, Keight’s cat, I counted on my fingers how many times I have arrived here in the last 5 years. Thirteen. Yikes. I’m not sure what to make of it, this visit is so fleeting. I don’t feel like I am renewing my relationship with Portland, more like making a tenuous grasp to hold on to it.
I have been comptemplating putting roots down in New York more frequently now. Lauren and made grand plans to aquire a building and fix it up so many people could live there, plus have studio space, band practice space, a gallery and a café that serves tofu scramble and vegan doughnuts. With what jobs, is my question, especially as I think more seriously about graduate school, but maybe it will happen some day.
These have been my thoughts the last month, looking toward the future. Wondering what I’ll be doing at this time next year, dreaming of so many different ideas I wonder how my life can contain such big hopes.
