2003-08-05 - 11:48 p.m.
Tonight Steve and my band, Mapquest to Your Heart played our first (and perhaps only?) show at Stumptown coffee roasters on Division street. It was realy like a dream come true, playing with friends Rachel Jacobs, Jack Saturn and the Snuggleups. Steve and I have 6 pop-ish kinds of songs about distance and direction and loosing things and people in the confusion of space and time. Playing there for all of our friends, acoustic guitar and melodica, it felt like a release, like validation, like just plain fun.
"It made me feel like Portland is so great, that this is why I like it," said Jack later over spicy fries at Dots. Then he added, "Wait, I have to remind myself it's not always like this."
After a summer of careful planning and intense critisim, of thinking and acting and talking and working issues out, I feel like it's all come together over the past few days. The Zine Symposium took place last weekend and despite my many fears, I felt like it was a great event. It reaffirmed my belief that with thorough planning and a commitment to certain ethics and being very clear and honest about your limitations, of what you can and cannot take on (and of course, with participants who are also very conscious) an event that really pushes underground culture and provides a place for positive networking and community building can take place. This past weekend I re-realized that all of us can create the cultures that we want to see, however small. This is incredibly freeing and it's also incredibly scary- it's a lot of responsibility and it means we need to be smart and sensitive and conscious and open and honest every step of the way. But I am re-invested in it, though I think I need to take a break (at least until school starts) from intense group dialogue and planning.
But many thanks to the people who came and supported the Portland Zine Symposium, who participated in and planned workshops, who's presence helped make the Zine Symposium what it was, and also continue to create and struggle in these very difficult times.
xoxo,
eleanor
