2003-03-01 - 10:03 p.m.
What do I do with the outrage? It is outrage tempered with a negative apathy- the beleif that I really can't do anything. That we are all head butting against systemic power (as represented by George W. Bush) and systemic power is winning and it will win every time.
I don't want to look at it like this- I know that I need to look for ways to express my anger at "the system" in ways that are not self destructive, that don't keep it inside until I'm boiling over. That it's about finding expression and taking my voice, our collective voices, back, speaking up because no one (the media or the government in particular) will speak for us. Maybe doing things like stickering, flyering, marching, writing aricles arn't the revolutionary acts I once dreamed they were, but maybe they are ways to take what is seething inside of me (private and closed off) and making them public, and thus able to be part of some kind of collective, political expression.
The Gang of Four sing, "She doesn't know it, but she's dressed for the H bomb" and I think about myself in New York. I am wondering "should I try Mabeline Great Lash Mascara, is it as good as Nylon magazine says?", and all these folks around me dressed to the nines, and are we all just foling ourselves with little costumes while the political, economic and social situations get worse and worse. What is a coping stratedgy and what is denial?
